I have a new thing. I'm gonna start photoblogging. I sat up last night and looked at pictures last night with a friend. There are so many stories, so many word behind a picture. It just makes things funner. (thats a word in my dictionary)
So the above picture is the picture that means most to me right now. This month will mark the 6 month anniversary of the death of my grandparents. Its just not getting easy to talk about. I wasn't able to before without getting upset and losing my train of thought. Literally i would try to describe what happened and how it all went down, and all these thoughts start rushing to my head and once. So i just quit trying.
Its the craziest thing our family has ever dealt with. Crazier than anything my parents could have dealt with growing up in Burma, getting kicked out and moving to India. Crazier than us being raised as first generation children. Crazier than anything any of us can remember from our childhood. But who knows, maybe things like this happen everyday. Just not to the Chawla family.
As things happen when you get old, my grand dad has a stroke in Feb. Boom! Our life changes significantly. Once a family rarely plagued with illness, we are spending countless nights in and out of CCU, ICU, and rehab. This was my fathers dad and his parents were living with us at the time. He finally comes home in April. Things are looking better but he is not the man he once was. Unable to care and provide basic needs for himself. But he was better. We stayed busy with his rehad, working closely with the schedule of therapists coming in and out of the home. His wife of 60 years suffered silently watching her life partner dwindle away. When he fell for his stroke, her screams echoed through the house. "Don't leave me here!" "I can't be without you, don't leave me". Well her prayers worked because he didn't leave and he stayed. Now we know the reason he fought so hard to make it through the stroke. He couldn't disobey direct orders of his wife and leave her here without him. Times were rough but we still had our grandparents, so what else could we ask for.
The six children that their love brought to life all live in American. So my father along with his brother and four sisters cared for their parents just as their parents once cared for them. Thank god my family wasn't in this alone. It literally took a village to get grand dad back to comfortable living. Like i said, he's home in April. and the story starts from there.
May 1st, my brother walks in the house at 2 am in the morning to find my grandmother laying on the floor. Holding her head with one hand and reaching out for help with the other. She never comes out of her coma. For two weeks we stood at her bedside. Conditions didn't get any better and we had come to the realization. The pain of watching her husband go through his stroke was too much to bare. She self medicated and stressed herself to death. At first is was hush hush around the house. Cuz how do we tell her husband, a rehabing stroke patient, that his wife will never come out of the hospital. Because of his condition, for a few days we were able to say that grandma was just upstairs in her room or away at the grocery store. Finally the truth came out. My dad explained to him about my grandmothers fall in the middle of the night and we took her to see him.
Finally the truth had to come out. My dad explained to him about my grandmothers fall in the middle of the night. We took her to see him. the picture above is his first time seeing his wife almost lifeless in ICU. We all lost it of course. We stood by him as he cried. He held her hand like he always had. Just as they are in the picture, her hand always safely nestled under his.
She died May 14th, 2007. My mom called me at work the day after Mothers Day. I felt like crawling up under my desk. My stomach turned and felt sick. This was the very first time in my entire 26 years of living that death struck our family. She was cremated on Thursday, May 17th. We took grand dad in his wheelchair to the funeral. He left after a brief goodbye. We walked her casket down the path to the crematorium off in the distance. Hand in hand, the Chawla family walked behind her praying for her and praying for each other. Granddad was in good spirits for the rest of that day. He looked around knowing he had his children and grandchildren there to love him and care for him the way his wife once did. That night the grandchildren took him out to his favorite restaurant for dinner. The adults stayed home while my brother and I and my two cousins from Portland sat with him and reassured him that everything was going to be ok.
That was his last meal. The next morning we found him lifeless in his chair. He left to be with her. Without notice and without suffering. He adhered to my grandmothers wishes. "Don't leave me!" and he didn't. She was gone and now he was free to do the same.
The funeral home came him got him the very same day. Again, we walked behind him hand in hand. Praying for us and praying for them, because we knew they were together again. In 60 years of marriage, they were apart for one day. That was one day too long.
So the above picture is the picture that means most to me right now. This month will mark the 6 month anniversary of the death of my grandparents. Its just not getting easy to talk about. I wasn't able to before without getting upset and losing my train of thought. Literally i would try to describe what happened and how it all went down, and all these thoughts start rushing to my head and once. So i just quit trying.
Its the craziest thing our family has ever dealt with. Crazier than anything my parents could have dealt with growing up in Burma, getting kicked out and moving to India. Crazier than us being raised as first generation children. Crazier than anything any of us can remember from our childhood. But who knows, maybe things like this happen everyday. Just not to the Chawla family.
As things happen when you get old, my grand dad has a stroke in Feb. Boom! Our life changes significantly. Once a family rarely plagued with illness, we are spending countless nights in and out of CCU, ICU, and rehab. This was my fathers dad and his parents were living with us at the time. He finally comes home in April. Things are looking better but he is not the man he once was. Unable to care and provide basic needs for himself. But he was better. We stayed busy with his rehad, working closely with the schedule of therapists coming in and out of the home. His wife of 60 years suffered silently watching her life partner dwindle away. When he fell for his stroke, her screams echoed through the house. "Don't leave me here!" "I can't be without you, don't leave me". Well her prayers worked because he didn't leave and he stayed. Now we know the reason he fought so hard to make it through the stroke. He couldn't disobey direct orders of his wife and leave her here without him. Times were rough but we still had our grandparents, so what else could we ask for.
The six children that their love brought to life all live in American. So my father along with his brother and four sisters cared for their parents just as their parents once cared for them. Thank god my family wasn't in this alone. It literally took a village to get grand dad back to comfortable living. Like i said, he's home in April. and the story starts from there.
May 1st, my brother walks in the house at 2 am in the morning to find my grandmother laying on the floor. Holding her head with one hand and reaching out for help with the other. She never comes out of her coma. For two weeks we stood at her bedside. Conditions didn't get any better and we had come to the realization. The pain of watching her husband go through his stroke was too much to bare. She self medicated and stressed herself to death. At first is was hush hush around the house. Cuz how do we tell her husband, a rehabing stroke patient, that his wife will never come out of the hospital. Because of his condition, for a few days we were able to say that grandma was just upstairs in her room or away at the grocery store. Finally the truth came out. My dad explained to him about my grandmothers fall in the middle of the night and we took her to see him.
Finally the truth had to come out. My dad explained to him about my grandmothers fall in the middle of the night. We took her to see him. the picture above is his first time seeing his wife almost lifeless in ICU. We all lost it of course. We stood by him as he cried. He held her hand like he always had. Just as they are in the picture, her hand always safely nestled under his.
She died May 14th, 2007. My mom called me at work the day after Mothers Day. I felt like crawling up under my desk. My stomach turned and felt sick. This was the very first time in my entire 26 years of living that death struck our family. She was cremated on Thursday, May 17th. We took grand dad in his wheelchair to the funeral. He left after a brief goodbye. We walked her casket down the path to the crematorium off in the distance. Hand in hand, the Chawla family walked behind her praying for her and praying for each other. Granddad was in good spirits for the rest of that day. He looked around knowing he had his children and grandchildren there to love him and care for him the way his wife once did. That night the grandchildren took him out to his favorite restaurant for dinner. The adults stayed home while my brother and I and my two cousins from Portland sat with him and reassured him that everything was going to be ok.
That was his last meal. The next morning we found him lifeless in his chair. He left to be with her. Without notice and without suffering. He adhered to my grandmothers wishes. "Don't leave me!" and he didn't. She was gone and now he was free to do the same.
The funeral home came him got him the very same day. Again, we walked behind him hand in hand. Praying for us and praying for them, because we knew they were together again. In 60 years of marriage, they were apart for one day. That was one day too long.
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